Hey, it's Rachel—

I just had an epiphany.

We all know about habits.

But I always thought they were things we do- you know, actions...

...like brushing our teeth or making our bed.

But then I realized that we can have habitual thinking.

It works like this:

Trigger>Thought>Emotion>Action

Often my habitual thinking isn't very productive.

It looks like this:

Trigger> Negative Thought> Negative Emotion> Unproductive Action

Here's a specific example:

I look at the Redfin App and see expensive homes> Think, "I'll never be able to afford a new house!" > Feel sad > Stress eat

While emotions are hard to control, we can (sometimes) control the triggers, but we can always control the thoughts (not easy, but possible with practice).

So I can delete the Redfin app, but since triggers are often outside of our control (and this would rob me of the practice of dealing with negative thoughts), and I am still looking for a house, that wouldn't be very productive.

So, in this case, I need to work on my thoughts by reframing them.

Here's what I can do instead:

Look at the Redfin App and see expensive homes> Think, "I'm so grateful I already own a home" > Feel grateful > Move on with my life

So next time you deal with a thought that doesn't serve you, remember the mind, like a muscle, can be trained and strengthened.

Every thought we choose paves the way for the life we experience.

Our habitual thinking can either anchor us down or set us free.

Just as we cultivate positive habits in our actions, we can cultivate positive habits in our minds.

It's not always the world around us but the world within us that determines our reality.

The next time you encounter a trigger, remember: you hold the power to shape your thoughts and craft the story of your life.

So, be the author of your own narrative, and let it be one of hope, resilience, (a passive income that makes your dream house affordable), and endless possibilities.

In today's email:

• How to be Happier: New Research Reveals 5 Rituals That Will Make You Happy
• Resources of the Week
• On Shame and Dealing with Other People's Opinions
• Advice Corner

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Idea of the Week

How to be Happier: New Research Reveals 5 Rituals That Will Make You Happy

I had just returned from a beautiful tropical vacation.

When my co-workers asked how it went, I couldn’t help but highlight what went wrong.

At that moment, I couldn’t help but notice what I was doing.

Despite having a great time, I highlighted what went wrong instead of what went right.

It's counterintuitive, isn't it?

​Continue reading...​

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Resources of the Week

• Something to Inspire You: The Power of Cuddles​
• Something to Help You Relax: Guided Wim Hof Method Breathing​
• Something to Talk About: Does anyone know of any good shows or movies? I feel like entertaining content has been lacking lately, so if you know of any, please send them over to me.

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Quote

On Shame and Dealing with Other People's Opinions

"I have spent a good many years since—too many, I think—being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction and poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that’s all. I’m not editorializing, just trying to give you the facts as I see them."

Stephen King from "On Writing"

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Something New

Advice Corner

Q: I always worry about what people will think when I think about going after my goals or putting myself out there. What should I do?

A: You are not alone. Did you know there are over 300,000 Google searches a month on "imposter syndrome"? It's ironic because we have the ability to get in front of tons of people via social media, but to do this, we have to get over our fears and worries. As Stephen King's quote above shows, no one is immune. But we can all work on strategies to get over this fear and worry and move on with our life in a productive way. Here's how:

• Understand the Spotlight Effect: This is the tendency for us to overestimate how much others are noticing or judging us. In reality, people are usually too preoccupied with their own lives to scrutinize your every move. Knowing this can be liberating.
• Embrace a Growth Mindset: Dr. Carol Dweck’s research has shown that people can adopt one of two mindsets: a fixed mindset (believing our abilities are set in stone) or a growth mindset (believing we can develop through hard work and learning). If we see challenges or potential failures as opportunities for growth rather than as reflections of our inherent worth, we'll be more resilient in the face of criticism.
• Reframe Fear with Excitement: Studies have shown that the physiological responses to fear and excitement are strikingly similar. Instead of saying, "I'm scared," tell yourself, "I'm excited." This simple reframing can make a big difference in how you approach situations.
• Exposure Therapy: Gradually putting yourself out there in small steps can help you become more accustomed to it over time. By consistently challenging your fears, you reduce their power over you.
• Limit Social Comparison: Comparing yourself to others, especially in today's digital age, can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. Remember that everyone is on their own unique journey, and comparing highlight reels to your behind-the-scenes can be misleading.
• Seek Support: Surrounding yourself with a supportive community or mentor can make a world of difference. These individuals can provide guidance, reassurance, and objective feedback.
• Accept that You Can't Please Everyone: No matter what you do, there will always be critics. It's essential to differentiate between constructive feedback (which can help you grow) and baseless criticism.
• Visualize Success: Spend time visualizing your goals and the positive outcomes you desire. Over time, this can help replace negative self-talk and diminish fears.

Remember, it's natural to feel apprehensive about putting yourself out there. Courage isn't about eliminating fear all together, but acting in the face of it. So go be courageous and watch your confidence grow over time.

Do you have a burning question that you need an answer to related to passive income, personal finance, or positive psychology? If yes, hit reply and send me an email with your question. If you're lucky, I'll answer it in this section of the next newsletter.